Who’s given me the crappiest of cappuccinos so far this year?
I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise, but I’ve had my fair share of coffee drinks that were truly terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve grown to expect sub-par espresso and coffee from most restaurants and generally they deliver just what I anticipate. Coffee shops in Boulder, however, are generally solid on the cappuccino front. So when I get a truly disastrous cup, it is worth noting. In the past two months I have had two remarkably horrible treats for my pallet.
The runner up in awful goes to Pete’s on Broadway. This cap was actually the most disappointing because it LOOKED like a winner with impressive foam and an inde coffee shop with a solid track record with a local roaster that I support and enjoy (Conscious Coffee), but the good news ended there. That cap had attitude; it was sour and bitter all the way down. It dared me to drink it. I tried… and failed.
That just leaves one. The hands down winner of “Crappy Cappuccinos” comes from Starbucks at 15th and Pearl. I haven’t been to a Starbucks in years, but it was time to give them another try. Unfortunately, for both of us, that cap looked like it had fallen flat on its pimply, foam face (see picture). It was lumpy; it was bruised and it had bubbles of mass proportion all over its surface. Perhaps the barista was blind? Nope, both eyes seemed to be working fine when she handed it over to me with a smile. So much for presentation, execution and pride in one’s work.
Still, I pushed on. Maybe the espresso and milk were better? Yes! In fact they were, but that isn’t actually saying much. The milk was completely lacking in creamy texture and felt thin and boring. I did notice that the temperature wasn’t bad (Baristas at Starbucks has virtually no control over temperature on their automated machines.). As for the espresso, it was pretty much as I remembered it. If you like heavy, smoky flavor that completely overwhelms any other potential qualities, then this is certainly the coffee for you. In its favor, it wasn’t bitter and since I expected a heavy roast, it was less upsetting than the ruined espresso I got from Pete’s. Still, overall Starbucks still loses. At least at Petes, the Barista was TRYING.
Course, as a friend of mine once said, “If you can complain about bad espresso, you’re probably doing pretty well.” I care about my coffee and yours, but getting a crappy cap won’t ruin my day or (hopefully) get anyone killed. So, drink on and relish the fact that you have the luxury of sipping great espresso and the (hopefully) occasional dud.
Final note: Starbucks has an instant iced coffee mix. It tastes like watered-down coffee ice cream. It isn’t unpleasant but is more like candy than iced coffee. Also, I think I may be allergic to it. My throat feels like it may have swelled up a bit. Weird…
I like the political overtones of “bubbles of mass proportion.”
Perhaps you should impose a “cap/trade” policy for your next drink there!
Oh. That’s clever.
I’ll keep that one in mind…
Surely the best example of coffee-as-political metaphor came
after former Senate Majority leader Trent Lott said that the United States would have avoided “all these problems” if then-segregationist Strom Thurmond had been elected president in 1948. See http://boingboing.net/2003/01/13/trent-latte-black-co.html
Oh, this is good.
Thanks. I never heard about Kramer Books and their political satire turned drink, the Trent Lotte! Thanks for the link to the scoop.
For those of you who missed the controversy at the end of 2002, Kramer Books then created their Trent Lotte: it’s a glass of black coffee and a glass of steamed milk, in separate but equal portions.”